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Good grief.

Trying to find a campus job is very disheartening. I am seriously not qualified for anything on the U of M employment site. I do not have work study funds. I do not have prior office experience/education. I cannot use technology. I do NOT have work study funds. I have no experience tutoring. I STILL DON'T HAVE WORK STUDY FUNDS. Good grief. I need a job too, dammit. I have trouble believing there are that many people with work study funds. Seriously, all the jobs I would possibly otherwise be qualified for say "work study required".

Maybe it's for the better if I can't find a campus job. They all want me to submit a resume. I don't have a resume, and I clearly don't have much experience that would make creating one worthwhile. Apparently a factory job was not a good use of my time this summer...definitely not helping now.

Ok. I'll quit whining. It's just that "not being able to pay rent" isn't exactly on my to-do list this year. Meh.

EDIT: Page 5 of 6. Found one I'm qualified for. Parking attendant. Again, good grief.


Second Blog

I've been working on a second blog for awhile, but I didn't want to share it until I had a few posts, mostly to make sure I would actually do it. In case you're interested in that type of thing, this one is focused on beauty stuff. Makeup, nails, product reviews, things I buy, etc.

Check it out if you feel like it. :)


I love IKEA

Where else could I get the perfect sized desk for $20?
And despite having just been there on Tuesday, I already have a shopping list going for next time. Here are five things I want right now.

LINGO Clothes box with lid  Width: 17 " Depth: 21 ¾ " Height: 7 " Package quantity: 2 pack  Width: 43 cm Depth: 55 cm Height: 18 cm Package quantity: 2 pack
1. Big, flat boxes for hiding stuff under my bed and in my closet (because my boot boxes aren't quite big enough) These guys are $7.99 for 2.
LINGO Box with lid for paper  Width: 11 " Depth: 13 ¾ " Height: 7 " Package quantity: 2 pack  Width: 28 cm Depth: 35 cm Height: 18 cm Package quantity: 2 pack
2. Medium sized boxes (because actually shoe boxes from Payless are NOT a cute way to store things) $4.99 for 2.

NYTTJA Frame assorted colors Width: 6 ¾ " Height: 8 ¾ " Picture, width: 5 " Picture, height: 7 " Package quantity: 2 pack  Width: 17 cm Height: 22 cm Picture, width: 13 cm Picture, height: 18 cm Package quantity: 2 pack
3. Pink picture frames, to accompany the blue and green ones I already have, and to inspire me to get back into doing more photography. (Because, after all, black and white photos look AWESOME in colored frames) $3.99 for 2

ANJA Cushion multicolor Length: 12 " Width: 18 " Filling weight: 5 oz Total weight 1: 7 oz  Length: 30 cm Width: 45 cm Filling weight: 150 g Total weight 1: 186 g
4. Adorable throw pillows for the futon. Because there aren't any. $2.99

ANDY Drawer unit on casters red Width: 14 5/8 " Depth: 14 5/8 " Height: 23 1/4 "  Width: 37 cm Depth: 37 cm Height: 59 cm
5. Red mesh drawers. I seriously wish I had room for this. It is so cute. Much more attractive than the plastic stacking bins my nail polish/lotions/sunscreen type products live in currently. Eh, someday. $24.99



I can't help but wonder what changed. Did I change? Did you change? Maybe no one changed, but rather the reality finally came to the surface. Could things have been different? Maybe. In the long run, though, I doubt it. We could have kept it up longer, been civil longer, but the underlying causes would probably still remain. We are who we are, right? Then again, maybe there was a change. A change over time.

 It seems as though a strange combination of changes can occur the more time you spend with someone. On one hand, you see more and more of the other person's true personality. You become more comfortable with one another and are therefore more likely not to hide things about yourself. You are more likely to share things about yourself. Be yourself. On the other hand, you can also start to grate on one another. Over time, only the other person's negative qualities stand out. I believe that as this happens, your mind twists your image of that other person to be much more negative than they perhaps actually are. You start acting more negatively because you feel more negative feelings, which then causes the other person to think more negatively, and so on. It's a horrid cycle, really. But it seems as though that is how it works. 

I'm not sure how this works with people who actually end up getting along all the way through. Is it because they just see more positives? Are there actually more positives? Or maybe this does happen, but on a much smaller scale. I'm not sure. Yes, I do have close friends I've kept with for awhile. That's not why I don't know what happens here. I'm just not sure exactly why these friendships have lasted, while others have not.

Despite this cycle, I still fail to understand how a seemingly close friendship can fall apart. Was it ever based on anything legitimate in the first place, or were we misguided from the beginning? Maybe we became friends simply out of convenience. Maybe we both assumed the issue lied within ourselves rather than within our relationship, or even the other person. Maybe there never really was a friendship, but only the imaginings of one within my mind. Maybe you secretly still are my friend. 

Yes this is me pondering about real friendships, no it's not all about the same one, no I don't believe "ponderings" is a real word. But it should be. 

Goodnight, and good luck.


Urban Outfitters Apartment Stuff

 I have taken to fantasy apartment stuff shopping online. As long as it remains just fantasy, it shouldn't be a problem... :)

Things my apartment would include if I had more money/space:
a jewelry holder made of CHAIRS?? yes please.

I want a coat tree. Not for coats, but bags, and maybe hats. And this one is blue. Bonus? I think so.
aaaand a hamburger phone! Duh. 

Somebody should set up a parental block thing for the Urban Outfitters website. This could get out of hand 

Douchebag Citation notepad. I'll probably need to buy this. I think I can swing $5, and this is obviously necessary for life.


Laziness, and a bonus book review.

I really fail at keeping up with this. I have ideas written down...things to blog about...but I never seem to get past the idea stage. Whoops. It's kind of strange...I started this blog, but I don't read very many blogs. In fact, I only follow one blog that is not specifically beauty-related. I probably need to find some others to read...maybe it would give me more inspiration. I don't know. Maybe I just need to quit being lazy about it.

About a month ago, if not more, I finished reading A Little Bit Wicked - Kristin Chenoweth's book. Honestly, I loved it. I want to get coffee with her. I always have been amused by her appearances on talk shows, especially Ellen's, I enjoyed her on Pushing Daisies, and the song Taylor, The Latte Boy is probably one of my favorites. Reading this book just made me like her more. Seriously, I want to invite her over for Thanksgiving or something. Despite the fact that her story is often taking place on Broadway or filming something in LA, she somehow still comes across as a regular person. I don't know how that's possible...but it is. She just seems delightful. It's an amusing, light read...goes pretty quickly. I recommend it. :)

Also, how someone so small can sing that loudly will never make sense to me.